Wow. What a journey this has been the last several months. I was on a great roll with running last year, until I had my ankle surgery. Then, I finally began to get another start on my physical fitness in March, until I found out I was pregnant on May 2. I was reluctant to do too much activity, but I’m sure it wouldn’t matter. I had stopped working out again, however. Then, on June 2 we lost the baby. It was quite a road.
I finally decided this week that I needed to put on my big girl pants again and get started. I shouldn’t let this stuff hold me back. Because of these obstacles I have continued to gain weight. I am now at the most I’ve been in almost 4 years. I ask myself how in the world I let it get this way. Could I have really prevented it? I’m not sure. However, I need to not worry about how I got here, but now focus on what I’m going to do to change it back. I need to not stress over it and just enjoy being physically active and eating healthy, rather than consider it an obligation to a point of burden. I have enjoyed being healthy for several years, but this time it seems more difficult for some reason. I’m not sure why. I am bound and determined to change that.
I am excited about trying to start running again. I always notice how much stress is relieved when I do run, and how much more energy I end up having. Jon and I recently invested in a couple of bikes so that we can have something fun we can do together. Jon loves to bike, but doesn’t enjoy anything else other than gaming that much. I am also VERY excited in the fact that I haven’t completely ruined myself in the sense that I recently had blood work done, and the doctor went ahead and checked my cholesterol levels and such without me knowing, and she was very pleased with the results. I felt like a weight lifted there. I still have a chance.
I need to bring the faith back that I had last year and get going. I did so well…I lost 12 pounds last summer from running. I never felt more proud of myself. I need to do this. Now my sister is catching up with me, and I am proud of her. Now she gets to inspire me. She probably doesn’t realize it yet.
I am so glad I have such a supportive community in sparkpeople. They help me feel less alone in this. Accountability is always good, and it’s what I need. I’m tired of trying to do this by myself, which is something I have done the last 9 years, ever since the first time I lost weight. I find it ironic that I used to be made fun of for being overweight..and when I became a health nut, I was criticized then. I was proud of myself for not letting that bother me or hold me back. I knew that I would gain so much for my achievements. I just prayed that those who criticized me would see the results in me and would want to do the same. I’m not sure who I was able to inspire. I just hope I never let them down.
This is life. I must learn to accept it, learn from it, and then move on. Don’t let the past hold you back. The future will take care of itself once you decide how today will be.
So here’s to a continuous healthy lifestyle.