Today was the second day of actually working out. I’m not talking about just going for a walk, which I did do that today, too, however I’m talking about a real workout. I am challenging myself to complete the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I hope and pray I am able to stick to it. I know when we go to Jackson in 2 weeks, that might put a speed bump in the middle of it, but I guess that’s okay. We’ll are planning to take Micah to the Memphis zoo anyway, so at least I’ll get something in.
Starting over has been rough. I don’t have near the endurance I used to have, which makes me sad, and that is probably one of the reasons why it’s so much harder starting again. I know what it’s like to have the endurance and to be smaller and so forth. I’ve already been there, so in my mind I want to be instant. Of course, who doesn’t? However, I know its retraining myself to be a healthy eater again, to recondition my body. I hated I let myself go in the last year. I know I gain weight way too easily, which is a total bummer. But, I guess the attitude I need to have is what’s done is done. The only thing I can do now is to fix it, to move on, rather than wallow in it and not do anything about it and continue to feel sorry for myself. That’s the mood I’m in today anyway. Trying to lose weight and get healthy will sure put someone on an emotional roller coaster, and that’s not any easier with someone who just had a baby almost 3 months ago. But I know I can do it.
So, many of you have already seen the picture I have posted on here, but I am putting it on here for my blog’s sake. I have printed some pictures of myself to hang around the house. I have the fat version of me and the skinny version of me as a motivational tool. I do love that I don’t have to post pictures of someone else…because to me, it’s symbolic for me to be me. To look like myself…the healthy, fit version of myself.
It’s funny that even though I was once 159 pounds…9 pounds from my goal weight at the time, I still felt like I wasn’t really “thin”. I knew I was healthier and I was a size 10, but I wasn’t toned. That was my thought then. I look back at it now and think wow! I was tiny! It’s crazy how much your perspective can change, depending on where you are. Well..my plan is to lose at least 100 pounds. My ultimate goal weight is 145 lbs. I probably could be happy at 150, but we’ll see. The journey will be tough, and it is tough, but well worth it.