I came very very close to earning my FitBit Flex. I actually thought I had it, but circumstances happened out of my control. I was very upset at this news because I felt the FitBit would really help me in my weight loss goals to more accurately track everything. So, my plan B is to somehow find a way to save enough money to purchase one because I want one that bad. I feel like I need it. However, at least in the process I was able to help more families to create a healthier home for themselves. I received some words of encouragement, and I just need to move on and keep trucking. The Melaleuca weight loss challenge began on Saturday, and the Gold’s Gym 12 week challenge began today. I did gain about 3 lbs over the last few days in the midst of celebrating my 30th birthday and hosting a Super Bowl Party. I did make several items from the Lose Weight by Eating site to help create a healthier selection for myself and everyone around me without sacrificing flavor. My husband approved of everything, which is a big deal. Even though most items were pretty healthy, I still over ate and now I need to work it off. This morning I did a group fitness class at Gold’s Gym. I felt like jelly afterward, but I made it through, and even though I could really feel the burn, and I wanted to give up in the moment, I look forward to the next class, because these classes are helping me change my life. With being a single car family, I am still trying to workout a workout schedule. Probably the best thing for me is to have a Plan A and Plan B in place for each day. Plan A in hopes of having the car, and then Plan B for when I don’t. I just have to keep thinking about what motivates me to be and do my best to win these challenges. The biggest reward is my life change, however the monetary rewards are pretty motivating as well because let’s face it, I need the money. Don’t most people? However I do hope I am able to inspire and motivate others along the way.
Challenge Accepted January 22, 2014
It’s been over a week since my last post. Last week I had a pretty good start on achieving my health and wellness goals. Then, by the weekend, I was feeling cruddy. I felt cruddy until yesterday evening, in which the cruddiness hindered my newly developing workout routine. But I decided to make today a new day. I haven’t lost any weight yet. I’m still figuring out some food stuff while I get anything artificial out of my home. But today, I made sure I did something better. I went to my local Gold’s Gym and attended a group fitness session called Body Pump. I was a bit intimidated at first because it had been a long while since I last attended a group fitness class. I wasn’t sure how difficult it would be, and I was in much better shape in the last group fitness I attended. I’m starting over. I did really well at first, but then it did get difficult in toward the end, but I pushed through, doing what I could. I know if I continue I will get stronger. It’s all about being persistent. Then I was presented an opportunity to participate in the Gold’s Gym 12 week challenge. I was able to get some info on it and decided this is what I need to help get me through. This challenge allows me the chance to win up to $75,000. The money would be amazing, but I know I could never put a price on the results I will personally get in the end. But the money is a huge motivator. While receiving some information I met a nutritionist who will be doing a few workshops there and a trainer who will do an evaluation on me. My weigh-in and measurements are to take place this Sunday, January 26. I was so pleased with how invested in my goals these people/employees were after talking to them. The nutritionist actually asked what my history was, and I shared. I honestly was so appreciative of her help, insight, advice I almost burst in to tears. It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone to be THAT helpful to me. And to be surrounded by so much support there. And as I type this tears are welling up now, and maybe it’s because my life is really about to change. Maybe, in my deep subconscious, I know this is it. So, being transparent, here I am at 239 lbs currently. My goal weight is 145 lbs. But in 12 weeks, I want a big transformation. I am claiming it.
A New Beginning: Picking Up Where I Left Off January 10, 2014
Yes. I am back. Once again. Hopefully for good this time. Last year I managed to lose a total of 27 pounds before I allowed life get in the way of me achieving my goal of losing 100 pounds by my 30th birthday. Well, it’s January again, and I will be 30 in a couple of weeks. On the 30th actually. SO I decided to change the title of this category to “Fighting for 100”. I felt it was more appropriate at this point. I need to buckle down and stay committed. Part of my motivation this year is that I need to lose at least 50 pounds before we decide to have another baby. I want to be at a reasonable weight for pregnancy to reduce any risk of complications. I have started following a blog called Lose Weight by Eating!, created by Audrey Johns, who lost 150 pounds in less than a year just by cutting out processed junk. That’s inspiring! I am going to take a stab at her meal planner and using most, if not all, of her recipes (some depends on the husband). I’m also taking another stab at following Melaleuca’s weight loss plan, mainly for the shakes to help with blood sugar support (which I need), and the fiber (to keep things moving and clean). I also enjoy their Access bars because they really do make a difference in my workouts. This is probably the most difficult thing to face, doing it a second, third, tenth time. I don’t know how many times I’ve started and stopped. I just know I’ve been successful once, and I need to do it again. I will do my best to track my food using My Fitness Pal on my iPhone. I am also working toward earning a FitBit Flex for free through the company I have partnered with so I can keep even better track of my calorie intake, burn, and my sleep patterns. I just need to enroll 3 customers and it’s mine! I know it is something I can really benefit from. I love a company who helps me because I helped other families toward a healthier lifestyle and home! I am nervous about continuing this journey, yet excited at the same time. I know if I keep at it and NOT QUIT I will get there, sooner or later. I appreciate any and all support to get me through this. Who else will join the fight with me?
Working On It September 26, 2012
Well, I haven’t made much progress in the last month, as I had originally intended. I have hit some bumps along the way. But, I have overall gotten better about my eating again, as well as my water consumption, in which that alone has started to make a difference in my energy levels. I’ve also finally started exercising. It’s nothing too vigorous yet, but it’s something. I know every little bit helps, and I know what little I am doing, including house work, is also contributing to my energy levels. I’m feeling overall better, even though I still have my down moments. But I guess that’s part of the territory.
I’ve decided that I’m going to take “progress pictures” of myself on the 26th of each month, which is the day of the month my son was born, that way it’s easier for me to remember when I took the last picture. I really couldn’t remember the date of my last photo. But hopefully this will work.
In the mean time, I’m trying to think of creative ways to work out while staying at home with my son, especially since I don’t have a way to get anywhere. I know walking around the complex is start, even though the scenery is a little less than exciting, and not quite as nice and convenient (sidewalk wise) as my previous neighborhood. But I just need to suck it up and make do with what I have. I came home today from my walk, and I decided to get the Yoga ball out and do some crunches, along with some wall sits. I hope I can motivate myself to continue to pursue this even further along the way. I do talk to or make faces at Micah in the process, so I can try to entertain him at the same time. I thought about doing push ups (I really hate push ups) and give him kisses every time I go down, but with my lack of upper body strength, I decided that may not be the best idea yet, as I would probably fall on him lol. I don’t want to squish my 5 month old.
But, I guess a little progress is some progress, and it’s better than nothing. Nothing gets you absolutely no where, and a little bit gets you at least somewhere, even though it may not be very far. I’ll admit. It actually felt great to sweat toady, as it was a much warmer day today than the previous few days. I just gotta stay persistent and keep pushing myself every day. Making good decisions one day at a time will add up before I know it.
Tired of Being Tired September 14, 2012
This week has been hopefully the beginning of my FINAL new life. I began drinking at least a gallon of water each day, to properly hydrate myself, and to help aide in weight loss. Since I began on Monday, I hadd lost 5 pounds, then I gained 1 just this morning. Of course, I had a night out, and there weren’t many healthy options in food, so I tried to keep what I ate to a minimum. Oh, well I can lose it back, right? I know I need to keep the mindset of continuing to move forward while preventing any back-stepping, for as long as I could help it.
Then today, I thought I was going to have a good amount of energy. I ate a healthy breakfast, drank some green tea along with it, then for lunch I had a VERY healthy salad and a little soup (which was also very healthy). I spent the early afternoon out with my mom, but when we returned, I felt rather fatigued. Fatigue has been my ultimate enemy in getting anything done around the house, even though I try to fight it. I used to be able to keep going throughout the day without the need for naps, up until i got pregnant. And even 4.5 months post partum, I still have a hard time finding the energy I used to have.
I have also been trying to eat as healthy as I can, budget allowing. It’s not easy. We were given some food, which is not the healthiest, and when we can’t make a trip to the store, that’s all we have. It’s really disappointing and embarrassing.
My will power is also seemingly weaker than it used to be. I feel I cave much more easily than I used to. How was I so strong before? How did I make it through with hardly any support, nor any accountability before? I feel I need so much more of that now, and the one person, who I rely on the most, is not stepping up to the plate, like I want him to. How can I defeat this? How can I get him on the same page as me? What can I do to motivate him? I feel I have done everything, trying various methods, and NOTHING seems to work. He’s just not as committed as I want to be, but I need him by my side the most.
I’m just feeling a bit down because I have consumed a lot of water, consumed a good amount of calories for the day so far, and I still feel hungry, or deprived of something. I’m not sure what it is. I feel weak, and tired. I just don’t remember it being this hard before.
It also doesn’t help that when my mother visited me today, she decided to record video of me playing with my son. As I watched the playback, I was reminded of how much I let myself go, and I was completely disgusted with myself. How did I let myself get back to square one? Where I was in high school? I keep reliving the horrors I went through being this size. I’m even ASHAMED to be in public most of the time, because people have seen me lose the weight before, and I just let it all go. And I feel like when I meet new people, I have to justify my weight gain and show proof that I was once a size 10 at 159 pounds, I guess trying to prove to them that I can be attractive, because I’ve been there before.
I just feel I have lost my spark, and I’m trying to find it again. I have eaten and lazed myself back to the VERY beginning, a place I vowed I never would return to. I’ve broken that.
I guess it’s a good thing I recently made a new friend, who is trying to achieve many of the same goals I am. We are in very similar situations, so we can relate. I am thankful God has lead me to her. I do hope this friendship will continue to bloom and grow throughout the coming days. Accountability is so important to me right now, and I need more than just a “good job” when I complete a work out or a household chore. I need someone standing by my side, cheering me along, and not enabling my weaknesses. And I want to cheer someone along, especially that person by my side.
When it comes to eating with your loved ones, it’s like having a drink in front of an alcoholic. You tell them you are proud of them and support them, yet you continue to keep temptation within reach of your loved one(s), to a point they could easily stumble, and they have to start all over again. I know that temptation will be out there regardless, but for the ones who are closest to you, why would you do that? Doing that says you really don’t care at all, for them or yourself.
I know my emotions are just all over the place in this post, and it probably doesn’t flow too well, as thoughts just kept coming to me in the process of writing this blog. I was just basically feeling a bit frustrated and down, disgusted with myself. I know that I can pick up the ball and get there again. It’s just going to much more difficult than it was before, because I was there before. I don’t have the endurance I used to. I don’t have quite the energy, and I’m 10 years older, so age could play a factor. I need help in staying committed to achieving my goals.
Thanks for listening.
And So It Begins July 17, 2012
Today was the second day of actually working out. I’m not talking about just going for a walk, which I did do that today, too, however I’m talking about a real workout. I am challenging myself to complete the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I hope and pray I am able to stick to it. I know when we go to Jackson in 2 weeks, that might put a speed bump in the middle of it, but I guess that’s okay. We’ll are planning to take Micah to the Memphis zoo anyway, so at least I’ll get something in.
Starting over has been rough. I don’t have near the endurance I used to have, which makes me sad, and that is probably one of the reasons why it’s so much harder starting again. I know what it’s like to have the endurance and to be smaller and so forth. I’ve already been there, so in my mind I want to be instant. Of course, who doesn’t? However, I know its retraining myself to be a healthy eater again, to recondition my body. I hated I let myself go in the last year. I know I gain weight way too easily, which is a total bummer. But, I guess the attitude I need to have is what’s done is done. The only thing I can do now is to fix it, to move on, rather than wallow in it and not do anything about it and continue to feel sorry for myself. That’s the mood I’m in today anyway. Trying to lose weight and get healthy will sure put someone on an emotional roller coaster, and that’s not any easier with someone who just had a baby almost 3 months ago. But I know I can do it.
So, many of you have already seen the picture I have posted on here, but I am putting it on here for my blog’s sake. I have printed some pictures of myself to hang around the house. I have the fat version of me and the skinny version of me as a motivational tool. I do love that I don’t have to post pictures of someone else…because to me, it’s symbolic for me to be me. To look like myself…the healthy, fit version of myself.
It’s funny that even though I was once 159 pounds…9 pounds from my goal weight at the time, I still felt like I wasn’t really “thin”. I knew I was healthier and I was a size 10, but I wasn’t toned. That was my thought then. I look back at it now and think wow! I was tiny! It’s crazy how much your perspective can change, depending on where you are. Well..my plan is to lose at least 100 pounds. My ultimate goal weight is 145 lbs. I probably could be happy at 150, but we’ll see. The journey will be tough, and it is tough, but well worth it.
The Timeline June 15, 2012
Since my last post, I have been off and on with my eating habits. I’m trying to do better, but it’s been difficult, as my will power seems to be weaker than in times past. What happened? I know my appetite is completely different since being pregnant. It’s hard trying to get back to normal.
As I started thinking a little harder, I realized I was missing something from my plans of weight loss and healthier life. I need a timeline for my weight loss to help push me a little harder. I need to set smaller, short-term goals to reach at a time to reach my big long-term goal, my ultimate goal.
Mine and Jon’s 3 year wedding anniversary is coming up on Wednesday, the 20th. I was hoping to be able to look great for him. I was looking at my wedding photos recently, and that sheer disappointment began to surface again. But then I think to myself there is no reason I shouldn’t get back to that this year. So, with this timeline, I am hoping and praying I will endure. That’s the title of my blog anyway, right? For a couple of years now I have been wanting to run in my first 5K. So, I need to run my first 5K this fall. I need to start training now. Running will help shape up my legs and butt…and hopefully my hips. I will need to do strength training along the way. That is my first short-term goal. My next goal is to be able to run in the country music half marathon. It has been my goal for years to be able to run it by the time I was 30 years of age. Next year I will be 29. I should be able to do this. Ultimately, it is my goal to lose 100 pounds by this time next year, by my 4th wedding anniversary.
I know with these goals in mind, the weight loss will come with it. But I know I must also get into the habit of journaling my food and count my calories. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. That should be my first challenge/goal to overcome with eating, exercising, and journaling…to build a habit. Then, everything else should be able to fall into place.
I am also still working on trying to find that balance of taking care of Micah, as well as fitting in a work out and everything else. Time management isn’t one of my strong suits, even though people have known me to be one of the most punctual people they’ve come across. Although, I am hoping, since I have signed up for the emeals.com, on the clean eating program, this will help with dinner and balance everything else out. It is designed for busy moms on a budget..and that is now where I fall. I am really excited for my first grocery trip and first week of trying this to see how it turns out. So, here’s to continuing the journey with goals in mind.